Friday, July 6, 2012

My 14 year old self is doing cartwheels


Now let's sign Marty Murray and REALLY get the band back together!

In eighth grade, my world revolved around a few things: diagramming sentences, jamming out to Q102 ("Maria, Maria" whaaat?), playing Final Fantasy VIII, and loving Ruslan Fedotenko. He quickly replaced Simon Gagne as my favorite Flyer (yes, I was an annoying hipster fan back then too, but Rusty was just so goddamn excited and clutch!) and the first player that I ever met at the Carnival. (I couldn't speak then either. Oy.) 

Fast-forward twelve years and now he's back. It's SUPER weird. Like, he hasn't played here as a Flyer since it was the First Union Center. That's TWO banks ago! Where has the time gone?! He's no longer Rusty the emergency call-up; he's a two-time Stanley Cup champion. I really haven't followed him much since he signed with the Pens (sidenote: he's quite the Atlantic division slut!), but I'm happy or at least amused to have him back. He was my first real fave, after all. Rusty was always good for dagger-to-the-heart goals against the Flyers, so it will be nice to be on the right side of that again and maybe even beat the Rangers, if he goes all Max Talbot: Secret Agent Man on them. I also can't wait to bust out all the knowledge that my freakish memory has retained, starting with, "Oh that's his first goal as a Flyer since 4/17/02. What, you didn't remember that?"

Saturday, April 14, 2012

"I can't. I can't"

That was my text response after Giroux scored his hat trick, the second of the night, to help the Flyers to an 8-5 win and a 2-0 series lead over the Pens. Um, WHAT? I still don't even know if I can fully fathom the ridiculous insanity of this series. It's not a bloodbath so much as a defensive shit show. But I am seriously in love with the Flyers' lack of quit. They just don't give up and I hope that continues for 14 more "Knock Knocks"! Or at least two more wins against the Pens.


So we put hats around our TV in celebration of the hat tricks.
And yes, that's a top hat.

Monday, April 9, 2012

That shit cray

Two Flyers games in two weeks?! And both featuring exciting things during warm-ups?! That shit is, in fact, cray. First up, we had Flyers-Bolts on 3/26. I love Foxy Lady Byng lifer Marty St-Louis, so we sat on the Tampa side for warm-ups (though I legit know about five guys on Tampa right now... kind of a buzzkill). Sitting on the opposing side is so nice, you can walk down like two minutes beforehand and still snag an ice row seat! However, the real excitement came in the waning minutes of warm-ups when someone at Tampa's blueline lofted a shot that hit the netting above us, skittered through, and literally fell at Pops' feet! And surprisingly, there was no bevy of children and drunk guys trying to retrieve it. In our row, there was me and Pops, a college-age couple, and a high school kid with his dad. And we all looked at each other, dumbfounded, so Pops simply picked up the puck and gave it to me. I never cared about getting a game puck before, but now that I have one, it's kind of the coolest thing ever, especially because there is a chunk randomly taken out of it?!


In the words of Doug Glatt, "It's official!"

I've never been able to sit ice row on the Flyers' side for warm-ups, but I somehow lucked into a seat there just to the left of the net last Thursday! Being so close was helpful because I have a fancy-pants-ish baby DSLR now so I can actually take non-shitty pictures! And it makes a fabulous snapping sound so I feel very important. The only thing is, I have to look through the viewfinder, so imagine my surprise when Talbot jumped into the glass in front of me!!11!!! Whaaat? I can honestly say that's never happened before, and I've been to a lot of pre-game skates in my day. Talbot then proceeded to skate away and bump into Read, all the while singing along with "Tonight Is the Night." Love. This. Man. Giroux was also hanging around our section, and one point, so was Coburn! And I actually managed to capture both!


OH HAI.


In case you were wondering, this is when time slowed down and "I Think We're Alone Now" started to play.


Max giggling with Bryzy. Just 'cause.

For the game, we inadvertantly had AWESOME seats in section 123 which, FYI, is practically next to the Flyers' bench AND afforded us a fine view of the Flyers' end-of-the-year awards. I'm going to marry those seats. It was a fairly dull game but Read scoring the GWG on a third period breakaway was fantastic. Especially because these tickets were Moo's birthday gift!

Oh, AND in between the Tampa and Buffalo games, I went to Chicago with my friend Timmi. I would have dragged her on a 5.5 hour bus ride to St. Louis for a Blues game, but there was no way to make that into a tantalizing offer. HOWEVER, she had to go to a school event one morning, so I decided that the best use of my time was obviously going to see Goon at 10:15 AM! The six dudes in the theater with me at that hour seemed equally excited to be there. The last game is SUPER intense on the big screen, and when Ross the Boss is walking through the snow with the bagpipes playing in the background, I almost peed my pants. And, of course, Marc-Andre Grondin is even lovelier (though decidedly more unwashed-looking... hmm) on the big screen. On a related note, I'm glad to see that the majority of our recent blog hits have been from people trying to find out more about this mysterious petit chou! Have you guys seen his awesome French-Canadian movie C.R.A.Z.Y? The whole thing has been uploaded to YouTube (with English subtitles!) and features a less douchy Grondin (though clothing is still optional... eep!) as a gay teen in a conservative fam. The scene with "Space Oddity" just breaks my heart every time. "Can you hear me Major Tom?" ZOMGtears.


Come on girls! Do you believe in love?

Oh yeah and THE PLAYOFFS START WEDNESDAY. Love it.

Wednesday, March 21, 2012

5 Reasons Why Goon Is Awesome

Welp, this is scary

Hats off to Soph for pushing me, known movie-hater, to watch Goon because it was fan-freakin-tastic. I'll admit, I had my doubts through the first twenty minutes, but the rest more than made up for it. There's something for everyone: intensity, blood and expletives, a power-ballad-infused romance, the nice guy, the foxy douche, the terrifying bad-ass... Gah, so good!! (And not just because the Highlanders' logo is a total play on the Flyers' one!) Anyway, here are five reasons why I loved it so:

1.) Heart: The motley crew in this film is just so damn likable. Stifler's character Doug (the goon) is super-polite and admits that he's found his niche as an enforcer because he "can protect people." Aww. Watching a "nice guy" navigate this unfamiliar realm of dramaliciousness (ie declaring himself to be a "beer and soup" kind of guy while his teammate does drugs) is refreshing. Doug is surrounded by many other, surprisingly nuanced characters (the grizzled enforcer nearing the end of his career, the failed first round pick, the soon-to-be-divorced team captain, the goalie looking to find his groove, the commitment-phobe girlfriend...) that just reel you right in. Even Jay Baruchel, often obnoxious in this movie, redeems himself when his character gives Doug an impassioned speech about his importance to the Highlanders. Underneath all the blood and expletives is a really enjoyable, character-driven film.

2.) Ross "The Boss" Rhea: Holy shit, the guy from 24/7 is beating the hell out of Stifler?! (And looking like Barry Melrose while doing it?!) Yes. Yes he is. And it is grand. Liev Schreiber brings such calm bad-assitude to this flick, especially when espousing Pops' favorite line: "I don't want to go out like some nancy-boy middle-aged fuck." It's just as good as when Schreiber's intoning profound things like "Lives... so deeply intertwined with what happens in a game..." in 24/7. (btw I think that is my fave scene from 24/7, perhaps because I'm obsessed with "Midnight City now?)

3.) This guy's face:
So what if that A stands for "asshole"?
(Photo from the Fuck Yeah Marc-Andre Grondin tumblr page, a fine resource when you find yourself spontaneously in love with this man, as I did!)

Xavier Laflamme (played by Marc-Andre Grondin) is resident hottiecakes for the Halifax Highlanders. He's also got mad swag: 
In the immortal words of Young M.C.: Goodness sakin'

He's the guy you hate but also want to date... Grondin's weirdly magnetic that way, and of course, you start to root for his character as the movie goes on. Goddamn you, irresistible bad boys! Gorgeous face/charm aside, the fact that Grondin says in this old interview that he's not super masculine and yet plays total a total ass/ladies' man in Goon is awesome. This interview is also totes endearing as Grondin describes Laflamme as "a really huge douchebag" and goes on to poke fun at the role. Where has this dude been all my life?! 

4.) The locker room speeches: Led by their somewhat misguided greybeard captain, the team gets pumped for games by yelling inappro stuff. Also hilarious is the brown-nosing rookie, who just echoes everything the captain says: "Some of their guys are divorced..." "We're playing divorced guys!" By the end, though, the pre-game speeches do legit tug at the heartstrings: "You guys keep playing long after you've got no reason to!" Oh, if only "This is YOUR time!" could have slipped in for good measure...

5.) The crazy goalie: With his mustache and heavy Canadian accent, it doesn't take much for Halifax goalie "Belchie" to get the laughs. The fact that he says things like, "Pass the dutchie, man!" only helps matters. I daresay he's Soph's favorite character. And, of course, he talks to his goal posts. He too probably thinks the universe is humaaangous big.

In addition to the five aforementioned reasons, Goon also has an awesome soundtrack and is full of little touches that just "get" hockey, you know? (Like the importance of the logo in the locker room, Laflamme always chewing on his mouthguard, the enforcer as a protector that opens up room for the skilled players...) Ahh, love it. Soooo when does it come out on DVD?

Saturday, March 10, 2012

Wherein Pops and I realize that we are both smitten with Nick Lidstrom

In case you were wondering, this is the first google search result for "nick lidstrom hearts"
Props to Top Shelf Blog for this masterpiece!


Pops is impossible to buy birthday gifts for. I mean, the man is like Ghandi: he's good to go with just his two bowls and two spoons, and maybe two hot cups of green tea in the tea seat. This year though, with Moo's help, I was actually sort of creative and got him tickets to see the Flyers play the Red Wings on Mark Howe night! Going into this, I knew that Pops likes the Wings and had LOVED Mark Howe... but I soon learned that he was not leaving the dance with the girl he came with.

(One week before game)
Pops: "Next week, we get to see Nick!"

(Several days before game)
Pops: "When is Nick night? Tuesday?"

(Day of game)
Pops: "We get to see Nick tonight!!!"

This is not entirely surprising because how can you not love Nick Lidstrom? The man is a golden god with a Swedish-Midwestern accent. I just didn't realize that Pops saw him as such. The only problem, though, is that Nick missed this game because he was day to freakin' day, something that I realized en route to the game and had Pops yelling expletives. No Nick, no Datysuk (Pops' other boy)... so we were left with Zetterdouche (copyright Sportsquee), which is all right I guess, but an affinity for striped '20s bathing togs cannot replace the magnetism of number five.

ANYWAY, once we stopped crying over Nick's absence, we had a grand time at the game. Being there for only the fifth Flyers' number retirement ceremony (and the first since 1990!) was like the coolest thing ever.


Headed for the rafters!

And I still can't believe we were in the same room as Gordie Howe. Gordie MF-ing Howe. Mr. Hockey. ZOMG. Pops was so excited by all the pomp, he even yelled out, "You go, Hank!" when some people booed Zetterberg as he presented Mark Howe with... whatever the Red Wings give as gifts in these awkward situations. Good times.

And most importantly (especially against a super-depleted Detroit squad), the Flyers got the W, bumping Pops' record to a staggering 2-0 this year! Happy birthday indeed.

Friday, February 24, 2012

The gang cracks the case

The fact that this guy talks to his mom is definitely what will blow the case wide open

Today, we read Puck Daddy's latest post authored by the mysterious Player X--an active NHLer who has worn and not worn a visor, is knowledgable about NHLPA issues, and has been on a team that acquired a big name forward from the other conference at the trade deadline. Armed with this wealth of knowledge, we determined that we were could decipher Player X's identity. Sleuthy Soph actually did some research, which led to this text exchange:

Soph: "I think it's someone from the '05-'06 Oilers."
Me: "Obvs it's Pronger."
Soph: "No, in one of his other articles, Player X talks about Pronger."
Me: "Well, Pronger probably talks about himself in the third person."
Soph: "...True."

Though optimistic early on, we soon realized that solving this mystery is like goddamn impossible. Christ, at least with Dream Phone, you know if your boytoy looks good in whatever he wears but is not wearing anything yellow!


All right, so which one of these fine fellows is Player X?
"I know who it is but I'm not telling, ha ha."


I ultimately determined that some of these clues are deliberate lies to throw us off and that Player X is OBVIOUSLY Braydon Coburn. He is an NHLPA rep, has worn/not worn a visor, and saw a big-name player from the other conference come to his team, albeit a defenseman at the draft and not a forward at the trade deadline. BOOM.

Sunday, November 27, 2011

Party rock is in the house tonight?

I haven't been to a live hockey game since Soph was here last March. Withdrawal had set in, so I pulled the trigger Wednesday morning and secured seats to the Black Friday game! (Second row upstairs baby! Behind the net where the Flyers shoot twice. Those seats are pretty banging; you can really see the plays develop. The only downside is that all of the goals in this particular game were scored in the OTHER net. Gahhh.)

Moving on: It's well-documented that I love warm-ups, and I was curious how the influx of new guys would affect the music selection. (...Pretty sure I'm the only person who would wonder about such a thing.) Instead of the rap/rock mix of the Carter-Richards era, we now have... FlyersTechnoDancePartaaaayyy (insert strobe lights here)! I can't lie, though, I actually did enjoy it quite a bit. (But I'm ALSO the girl who listens to "Party Rock Anthem" and "Like a G 6" when I have to stay late at work and copy. What can I say, every day I'm shuffling.) If you want a taste of the new warm-up jamz, this is the only song I was able to SoundHound. Pretty catchy, right?

Another astute observation I had during warm-ups is that Jake Voracek is HUGE. Srsly. As Kristin put it, Voracek is "Pronger-sized" in person. But apparently, homeboy's only 6'2"... four inches shorter than The Pronger. Hmmm. Maybe it's just because he towers over his doppelganger Giroux?

Giroux
Voracek









         SAME?!?!


Mysterious height aside, I'm enjoying Voracek a lot. Offensively flashy and underrated with that wild mane and bizzaro John Oates 'stache... he's like Hipsteroux, a less popular Giroux alternative!

Speaking of Giroux, I'm glad to see that, even though he's the BMOC now, he still plays catch with Brayds during warm-ups. While Bryzy was meditating (when he's not the starter, apparently he doesn't really do too much), and Danny was flipping pucks to the kids in front of me (under the netting, no less! It was pretty damn impressive), Brayds and G passed the puck back and forth in front of the bench. I can't believe that I actually got to see Brayds (well, along with G and Voracek) post a multiple-point game. I feel like he's has been off to a strong start, occasional turn-overs and bruised kidneys (!!) aside. He's racked up a whopping eight points. EIGHT points, in twenty-two games! What in the name of Art Ross is this stay at home defenseman up to?! He's also been pissy (most notably fighting for freedom against douchebags like Downie), and he tends to cheerfully blab about his baby daughter in interviews. (He's definitely going to be that dad who's showing pictures of his baby to the check-out girl at the supermarket.) I think the hilarious Ask the Flyers tumblr page accurately summed up why he's doing so well:


Also, I have to admit that I'm starting to warm up to Max Talbot. Of course I would; he's gritty and not super famous. Soph, who watched some of last season's 24/7, warned me that this would happen, but I, repulsed by his Pens past, didn't believe her. (Curse you, Soph!) In this charming clip, Talbot wears a hideous Christmas sweater and warns a teammate's unsuspecting baby about dating hockey players. And here, he's called a douche by Fleury. If those aren't precursors to true love, I don't know WHAT is!

Hi Max! You're blurry. Of course.
(For once, user error is NOT [entirely] to blame for my shitty pictures! I need a new camera. The zoom button gets stuck and the arrow buttons no longer work. #buzzkill)

So while this fine Black Friday tilt broke our Black Friday winless streak (hooray!) and included a buoyant round of "Ole Ole Ole Ole" when the game was in the bag (which was pretty hilarious to hear in person), I had to rush to get home for a surprise birthday party. When the Style Network talks about taking a look from day to evening, I'm pretty sure trading a Giroux tee and Chucks for an animal-print cardi and riding boots is NOT what they had in mind! Welcome to my life.