Friday, April 25, 2008

Pre-game animosity?

As the Sharks prepare to embark on their second round series with the Stars tonight, I find myself wondering, "Who actually plays on the Stars? Which of these guys could I identify? Can I hate them?" I mean, I could readily dislike Calgary before the series with the Sharks (thank you, '04 playoffs), but I don't think I have much animosity toward the Stars going into round two. I'm just indifferent to them. So in preparation for game one, I pondered their roster:

Mike Modano: Well, duh, the face of the Stars for like a bazillion years. Not that he's an ugly face for a team to have, but he just doesn't do anything for me. He's plastic-seeming, I don't know. Plus, if I have to throw my support behind a 500-goal scoring American, it's going to be JR. However, JR didn't have a stellar cameo in D1, wondering if Gordon Bombay had become a farmer. (Seriously? Like Gordo could wear such hideous sweaters and have such fabulous hair out on the farm?) That may be the only thing working in Modano's favor...

Brenden Morrow: My twelve-year-old self was smitten with Morrow after I saw an interview with him, in which he couldn't remember how old he was. Ah, the baffling nature of love. Now, I'm not all that interested, but I must say that he seems like quite a fiesty customer. And his father-in-law is ex-teammate Guy Carbonneau, which is kind of cute... though it was cuter before the Flyers drew Montreal as their second round opponent.

Brad Richards: Well, since I loved Tampa back in the day, Brad Richards, aka the Bend and Snap (you can thank my mom, for coining THAT bizarre nickname!), is the most favorable Stars option. He's Vinny Lecavalier's BBBBFFFF (translation: best best best best friend forever forever forever) and he's F-I-N-E FINE at times. And pretty clutch. The thing that holds Brad back, though, is the fact that he is quite possibly the most boring guy in the NHL. Ever. Ol' Soapy Dishwater has won the Conn Smythe once... let's not have that happpen again.

Sergei Zubov: I like him, for no apparent reason. But you know what would make me like him so much more? If he didn't come back for this series.

BJ Crombeen: Assbeen? For serious? Ew. You can't fight our resident Perfect Man AND non-fighter Milan Michalek and expect us to like you. Meet us in the octagon and be prepared to tap out, bitch.

So I've completed my fact-finding mission, and I may have enough disdain for Assbeen alone to get me going for this series. But I'm sure my blood will be boiling by the end of tonight's game. It's so easy to hate the opposing team in the playoffs. GO SHARKS!!!

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