Saturday, May 31, 2008

Game day hijinxs!

Since Soph is having a hard time watching this game, and I have nothing better to do now that Pops gave me a reprieve from cleaning the house with him, I'll try a game day journal. I'll also try not to fall asleep during the course of the game... ZZZZZZZzzzzetterberg...

First Period

-Pavel Datsyuk is throwing his weight around early in this game and despite being so tiny and delicate, he manages to ding up Rob Scuderi. Good work, brother! (Pops proudly refers to his adopted son as "a human wrecking ball.")

-Three minutes into the game and Pops starts up his favorite chant, courtesy of Margee... "Zetterdoooooouche..."

-Ho-Ho-Hossa scores on the power play, giving Pittsburgh a 1-0 lead less than five minutes into the game. Boo hiss.

-Pierre McGuire announces that Mike "Doc" Emerick is going to be inducted into the Hockey Hall of Fame for broadcasting. Aww Doc! Such a cute, grandfatherly figure!

-Holy crap, a Pen's shot caroms off of a Red Wing's stick and then bounces up and rings off the crossbar, all in the span of two seconds!

-Nick Lidstrom, perhaps the most attractive Red Wing (?), scores at the tail end of the PP and evens the score. Pops applauds this, and I chime in with my usual battle cry: "Yeah bitches!"

-Oh no, it's time for the Four Impact Players, aka Four Scary Headshots. Johan Franzen is incredibly blonde and pale, Mikael Samuelsson has weird, stringy long hair, Cindy should be on the cover of Tiger Beat or Bop, and Fleury is, as usual, all teeth. Creeped. Out.

-Datsyuk steals the puck from Fleury and gets a shorthanded chance that produces nothing other than a hopeful scream from me. Somehow, the Wings manage to kill off said PP despite Brad Stuart being stick-less for at least twenty seconds of it.

-Pierre McGuire, whose beacon-like head is stationed between the two benches, reports that there is a lot of trash-talking going on between the players. REALLY?! Nahhhh.

-Can I just profess my love of the new Stanley Cup commercial, the one with the dramatic music in the background as players from various teams throughout the years lift the Cup? (You can watch it here on YouTube.) What a fabulous series of moments. It makes me a little misty, I can't lie.

-Pittsburgh's back on the PP. Grrr... though Fleury has a little slip and slide incident in his net, and Doc uses the phrase "whirling dervish," which brightens things up. Clearly, this is why Doc is going into the HH of F.

-NBC shows a sped-up video of Crosby going back to the bench for a new stick after he breaks his on the PP. That's just what I love to see, Cindy in double time. Bleh.

-What the hell, Orpik totally jumps Franzen after Fleury freezes the puck. Replays show that Franzen got the elbow up on Orpik as he approached so they both go for their "extracurriculars." With two guys apiece in both penalty boxes, the guys are getting a little cozy!

-NBC shows a series of replays that are postively blinding. Crosby and friends are totally disappearing into a sea of white formerly known as the ice. Pops yells in disgust, "Get Gary Bettman on the phone!"

-The period ends 1-1, thank god.

Second Period

-I had to shower during the intermission, since I was covered in dust from our house cleaning, so I come in around the ten minute mark of the period. I did manage to catch a little bit of the intermission feature on Nick Lidstrom though, and I was pretty impressed. A hottie AND a family man? Who could ask for anything more?! (Not Soph and me, that's for sure!)

-Gary Roberts throws a big hit on Darren McCarty, Derian Hatcher's equally beat-up looking doppelganger.

-Rafalski must have missed his Hair Club for Men meeting because he is in a pissy mood tonight and takes a second penalty.

-As the ensuing PP starts, you can hear someone shouting "You got it! Heads-up, heads-up, heads-up!" The pucks is promptly tipped back into the Pens' end. Brad Stuart and Malkin then have a big collison that sends them both flying.

Third Period

-NBC shows a panning shot of the Pens bench and I can't help but be appalled by Pascal Dupuis' crazy beard. Pretty soon, he'll just have two little eyes peeking out in a faceful of hair!

-YAY!!! The bizarre-looking Jiri Hudler sends the puck squeaking in behind Fleury and Detroit takes the lead!

-I enjoy that they're playing "Woman" by Wolfmother as the camera shows a lengthy shot of Cindy. A little suggestive there...?

-A second penalty is called on Detroit, giving the Pens a 5-on-3, and the camera immediately cuts to Mike Babcock taking a sip of vodka, er, water on the bench. Surprisingly, they don't show Michel Therrien doing a victorious jig on the Pens bench, which MUST have been his reaction. Mayhem ensues and Doc starts to sound like an auctioneer, he's calling out plays so rapidly!

-The sun is out indeed with Detroit having a one goal lead! I wish they had a tremendous inflatable King Kong on the bench with them. The Pens kind of already do, considering the extremely hairy face of Dupuis.

-Datsyuk knocks down a Pen and Pops and I squeal over this latest hit from our honorary family member. Pops thinks he knows the source of Datsyuk's newfound wrecking ball tendencies: "He's sick of being Lady Byng, he wants to be Daddy Byng now!"

-It's time for "Welcome to the Jungle" in the Igloo with three minutes left.

-YAY!!! You go, Detroit! So the Red Wings hold onto their lead and now lead the series 3-1. Come on guys, close this out at the Joe on Monday! I'd also like to point out that the Pens have finally lost at home now so everyone can shut up about their unbeaten streak, thank god! (Though I am proud that their last loss at home was at the hands of the SHARKS back in February!)

38 comments:

K-Mart said...

I believe the music from the commercial you're talking about is the same that's played in Star Wars Episode One during the epic lightsaber battle at the end... I'll have to find the video and see if it's the one I'm thinking of. Glad to see Det's in this game. I was a little worried that they may not show up and be content to just win at home.

K-Mart said...

Grr... I forgot that my internet actually hates YouTube and won't play any of their videos for me.

Also, what is this slip and slide thing I read about Fleury? Did he do his trademarked faceplant?

K-Mart said...

Yay DET is up!

Jess said...

Sorry K-Mart, I actually bailed out to eat dinner for a little bit. That's interesting about the commercial song. I actually thought it was a really cool sounding tune, so I'd be ineterested to know what it's actually from!

haha No, Fleury made a save but kind of slipped while he was turning around and slid into the net. I wish it was more of a faceplant though!

Yay Detroit indeed!

K-Mart said...

I should actually be watching this game, and not the slow updates of Yahoo! Sports... brb

K-Mart said...

Feh. Det's winning so Pitt has to get a 5 on 3? Figures.

Jess said...

I know, is that shocking? Therrien's complaining paid off, I guess.

K-Mart said...

Yea for real. Either that or Bettman is panicking and going "Shoot, we'll sell more tickets if Crosby wins everything"

Jess said...

haha Seriously! Gary Bettman's probably also wishing Ovechkin had a better mastery of English so he could be a commentator for these games that Cindy's starring in!

K-Mart said...

Lol the ref just tripped over the stick and fell. Rather comical.

Jess said...

There's a stoppage in play and you know what that means... Cindy Time! I'm glad he's shown during like every stoppage. Ewwww.

K-Mart said...

This is semi-exciting. Maybe I won't keep flipping back to Pirates of the Caribbean.

K-Mart said...

Lol, everyone wants to see his beautiful "hairy" mug.

K-Mart said...

YES! Wow how didn't they score.

Jess said...

That's what we were watching during the intermission too! But yeah, this game's been pretty good.

Jess said...

I KNOW, that last minute was crazy! But yay Detriot! And the Pens finally lost at home, thank god!

Jess said...

Also, thank god Detriot won so we don't have to see a close-up interview featuring Sid's 'stache... yuck!

K-Mart said...

The Pens should send out an amber alert, Malkin has gone missing.

K-Mart said...

Crosby should also shut his mouth. He's lucky that Zetterberg is such a class act, and didn't repeat what Crosby said to him.

Jess said...

haha! I only wish Malkin had gone missing as far as the camera men were concerned, since he gets a fair share of close-ups too!

Jess said...

Eeeek! That is a far larger picture of Brian Rafalski than I ever want to see on my TV!

As for Zetterberg, yeah, he's far classier than Cindy the crybaby.

K-Mart said...

We went back to PotC, so I'm not watching any of the post game. I'm leaving for Florida tomorrow, so I won't be able to join you guys for game 5 (stupid 56k connections).

Jess said...

You're seriously going to Florida when there's the chance for another Fleury pre-game face-plant?! ;)

Well, we'll miss you around here for game 5, but have fun in FL!

Oh, and you're not missing anything on the post-game, it actually just ended.

K-Mart said...

My cousin is graduating high school, so I decided a vacation was in order.

Jess said...

That's pretty sweet! My cousin's graduating HS this week too but unfortunately, he lives only twenty minutes away. No such vacation luck for me.

Jess said...

Well, hopefully DET will win game 5so you'll have good news to come home to!

K-Mart said...

:-( that fails. I only get three days in Florida though, because I need to work as much as possible this summer. Maybe I'll get a tan though...

Jess said...

That would be a win-win for you I suppose... you'd have a tan and Cindy wouldn't have a Cup. (And then he'd have to shave the 'stache, a win for all humankind!)

Soph said...

That was quite a game, thanks for the diary thing Jess. You're a doll, a peach!

Have fun in Florida k-mart. I'm going to say the mom thing, but travel safely.

Jess said...

Did you wind up going out to dinner, Soph? I figured the time difference was again working against you!

Soph said...

Yeah. This time difference is brutal. At least, it's not like I'm missing any teams I'm in love with or anything, though.

K-Mart said...

The nicest thing about this win, it has already crushed the spirits of t least one of the Pens fans that have been harassing me. :-)

K-Mart said...

Also on a slightly random note: I used to write stories about a kid who's dad played for the Sharks (this was back when I was like 12) they were pretty bad, but for awhile they were one of my favorite teams (and my original pick to win the cup this year)

Jess said...

That's pretty funny, K-Mart! Aww, even as a child you knew the Sharks were a favorable choice! ;)
One of my high school friends liked the Sharks as a kid solely because of the teal uniforms. SJ is a popular choice for kids, I guess!

I'm kind of upset that so many people picked the Sharks to win this year, since that makes it look so much worse now that they didn't! Come on boys, get it together!

kristin said...

anybody home?

Soph said...

I'm just waiting for Jess to post the beginning of her game day diary thingy.

She's so slow ;)

Jess said...

Kristin, I'm sorry! I assumed only Soph would be interested and that she wouldn't be home yet! But now I posted what I have so far so feel free to comment there. And yeah, I'm the slowest person like ever.

K-Mart said...

Went back and watched the video because youtube finally works for me. It wasn't the commercial I was thinking of. But I know there is one that uses SW music...