Thursday, May 15, 2008

Let's hope there's a broom shortage sweeping Pennsylvania tonight...

For the first time ever, I can say I'm back by popular demand! (Thank you Soph and Kristin!) Come on boys, win this one! Please please pretty pretty PLEEEEEEAAAASE?! Don't get swept by Sid the 'Stache, er, Sid the Kid! Heading into the game, Pops remarks that "Marty's gonna have to be Georges Vezina recarnated!" That's not a tall order or anything!

Other notes:
-Gary Roberts has the rockin' pneumonia apparently so he won't be playing... No word yet if he's also suffering from the boogie woogie flu.

-VS shows a close-up of a menacing, and somewhat nauseous-looking, Derian Hatcher, and I'm almost scared to continue watching the game.

First Period

-Can I tell you how awesome the Wachovia Center looks?! I'M ready for some hockey! I wish I was there!

-Before action starts, Pops and I agree that Fleury isn't that fabulous and just hasn't been tested enough by the Flyers. I add the usual criticism that "He looks shaky as a willow tree!"

-Okay, Carter now has a full-on Gator beard (who knew he was capable of growing a cat on his face too!), and Knuble looks like he should be out panhandling somewhere shady. The long hair plus playoff beard just doesn't suit him.

-Can I just point out that Soph and I hex people's grandparents? (Unintentionally of course!) First it was Kyle's grandmother, then Pretty Ricky's grandmother, and now, after we decide that Eric Staal is A-OK by us, the Staal boys' grandfather passes away! Sorry guys. We should give NHL players advance warning about this.

-Poor poor Braydon Coburn. I'm glad the VS commentators casually slip in that he would play in a game five because "he's starting to get his appetite back now." Oh good, it's only been five days! I wish I were as tough as these guys are.

-And we have our first Van Halen of the evening, at the 14:10 mark of the first! Panama! Panama-ha! (VH is really starting to grow on me now that it's playoff time.)

-Danny Briere give the Pens the first PP of the game. Pops: "Special teams..." Me: "Well, the penalty kill better be pretty f'n special right now!"

-Jeff Carter bumps Malkin, who flails like an idiot as Carter casually skates by. Let's hope the last game's dive graders are back in attendance tonight.

-YEAH!!!! LUUUUUUUPUL!!!! All of the girls in the the tri-state area fall into a simultaneous swoon. That's another big goal for Lupul. Pops and I high five emphatically and I yell my usual battle cry: "Yeah bitches!" And we are treated to a lengthy and lovely close-up of Lupul on the bench after the commercial break.

-We're twelve minutes into the game, and here comes the salt: "...and especially not with their quarterback Kimmo Timonen lost for the series..."

-Yeah Danny Briere!!!! On the power play! Giggles must be thrilled, as Lupul and Danny are pretty much her top two faves. (And on cue, they show the bench celebrating, and the main person you can see is Lupul.) Aww, and Randy got the shot from the point in for Danny to squeeze into the net! You go, boys! I enjoy the very appropos sign "Briere it is!"

-Letang gets two for... CLIPPING?! What, did he try to cut Knuble's hair or something? WTF is clipping?! Well, until tonight, I didn't know it is existed! What motion does the ref make for that? A scissor-like gesture?

-Is that a lovely "Crosby sucks!" cheer I hear? I guess we're giving "Ass-hole!" a rest for now.

-I'm glad they showed Dave Mustaine's encouraging words on TV, though it was much more exciting on the Jumbotron!

-The Flyers are starting to expose Fleury as indeed being shaky as a willow tree. Umberger almost scores with half the net wide open and Fleury scrambling.

-Old Man Jim Dowd has a bee in his bonnet tonight, as he is quick to jump into a scrum. It's unfortunate that, due to his age, every time I see him, I think of George Michael's "Father Figure." Ewwie.

-VS Commentators: "Umberger's been money..."
Pops: "No, Money's in San Jose!"

-As Sidney talks to a referee at length (like the whiner he is), Pops figures out what Sid's saying: "But they're bigger, they're stronger, they have more facial hair!" (HA! I love any joke at the expense of Sid's 'stache!)

-Last minute of the period, that's a killer! Cat-on-face Carter scores and makes it 3-0! Mario angrily chomps on his gum in the press box, and I presume Sid leave early to glue on a Santa beard in order to compete with Carter.

Second Period

-Did you know that Patrick Thoresen was a teammate of Steve Bernier in junior? (I don't know that the VS Commentators know this, but Soph and I do!) And that's what I think of whenever I see Thoresen. Well, that and his groin, of course.

-VS Commentators: "Oh, he's not whistling dixie now!" I'm so glad Michel Therrien didn't think that "whistling dixie" was a good way to motivate his team, down 3-0.

-Pretty much anything Scottie Upshall does (except scoring) irks me. What was the point of slapping at a Pen and taking a penalty? I know he took Sykora to the box with him, but come on, there's a time and a place! Do you want to stir up the Pens when you've got that dreaded early three goal lead?

-Prospal looks like he's finally woken up, as he repeatedly attempts to score though he's sitting on his kiester.

-Pops: "Just what we want to see! A good save and Sidney on his ass!" There's the true Philadelphian mindset right there. And the Flyers at the Wachovia Center starts up the ol' "Crosby Sucks!" chant again. When it rains, it pours, eh Sid?

-They show Carter again, and now his beard doesn't look quite so bushy. I guess he just has a kitten-on-face.

-On the PP, Sidney and Co. get a solid chance on Marty, and I first shriek like a little girl and then boom, "Clear the porch!" I'm glad in the subsquent mayhem, you can hear Gator shouting various expletives about the previous play.

-MAR-TY! MAR-TY! MAR-TY!

-I'm glad the Flyers are adhering to the Warren Wallace mindset: "When I see [a Pen], I'm putting him in the wall!"

Third Period

-Okay, so I was eating dinner during the beginning of the third, hence the lull in my blogging. All I have to say is COME ON BOYS! Put these bitches away! Oh, and Lasse Kukkonen should start getting assists for all the Penguins' goals he helps to deflect in.

-I like the boy in the stands who brought his trumpet to the game. Hot.

-"Welcome to the Jungle" does seem requisite for the last five minutes of this game.

-OMG I'm seriously going to throw up in these last 56 seconds.

-LUPUL MY HERO!!! Thank god for that empty netter! I can breathe again, and so can the rest of the Wachovia Center. That"Super Lupul" sign says it all.

-Ew, somebody threw an octupus? For serious?

-Upshall absolutely crushes Staal, and now we have a total melee on our hands. Hatcher's a big, scary mother, I wouldn't want to mess with him, but Ryan Malone doesn't heed my advice and gets pummeled. Danny Briere looks like a dazed, happy child at Disneyland as he takes in the fireworks from the bench.

-And eight seconds later, there's some more festivities as Richards and Crosby get all tangled up right off the faceoff. Richards seems to want to fight Cindy but of course, Cindy just wants to hug. They get tossed for their troubles.

IT'S OVER!!!!!! They did it, yeah bitches! That third period was much hairier than I would have liked, but they extended the series, and that's all I care about. One game at a time! I'm glad someone in the stands was thinking what I've been thinking: it's been thirty-three years since a team (the Islanders I think) came back from being down 0-3. Thirty three years before NYI did it, Toronto recovered from the 0-3 deficit. Sensing a trend? Soph and I heard all about this when the Sharks went down 0-3, but they couldn't turn it around. Can the Flyers? There's something to chew on before Sunday. (And, Soph, if I'm wrong in my info here, feel free to correct me.)

Um, Pops just told me that the NYI team that came back in '75 beat a team you might know... the PENGUINS. Verrrrrry interesting.

5 comments:

Soph said...

Argh! Of all the games I had to miss because of commuting and going out to dinner, it had to be this one! The one where they win.

Boys, I'm expecting a repeat performance on a day that I can actually watch it... I'm serious!

Thanks for the recap, I don't feel like I entirely missed out as much!

Jess said...

Oh no! What a bummer! Well let's hope they can duplicate this win on Sunday so you can see it! And so this series can go on longer!

I'm glad you were able to catch up via recap at least!

kristin said...

OH NO!!!!!

Blogger ate my comment!!!!!!

kristin said...

Okay, let's try this again, but I'll keep it short so when blogger eats it I won't go insane!

Awesome game blog...again!

Carter's beard is in fact awesome, made more awesome by the fact that he doesn't seem like the kind who could grow a beard like that.

Parent has an even better beard, and looks so much like Gator with it, that he could be Gator's son or brother!

I agree with y'all about Fleury. I think this was the first real game in the post season where Fleury was tested...he robbed Briere!!! Flower might not be a fraud after all!


I think Soph better miss Sunday's game too...since she missed this one and they won! :)

I better quit while I am ahead or blogger will eat this comment too!

Jess said...

Thanks Kristin! I'll try to do another game blog tomorrow. I'm 1-1 now so anything could happen!

Yeah, Carter seems like too much of a pretty boy to have a beard. Same with Lupul, but then again, his beard isn't as impressive. The rest of his lovely face is resisting the intrusion of facial hair. "No, you fool! The ladies won't love you as much with a beard!!!" I'll have to take a gander at Parent's beard tomorrow if he's playing.

Boo blogger, eating your comments!