Tuesday, January 11, 2011

Can I get an all-star, do ya want more?

I know that people are all up in arms that Claude Giroux is the Flyers' lone all-star. So I'm not going to talk about that. (Other than to quote Soph's stellar assessment: "Mike Richards isn't used to being turned away at the last minute. He's not like Jeff.") Let's instead focus on the fact that our beloved Claude Giroux IS the Flyers' lone all-star! Which apparently qualifies him to be a Real Man of Genius as well:

Narrator: "Real men of genius…"

Singer: "Reeeeeal men of geeeeenius…"

Narrator: "Today, we salute you, Mr. Totally Angelic Bad-Ass…"

Singer: "Mr.TotallyAngelicBadAss!"

Narrator: "By day, you’re at the kids’ table, feasting on grilled cheese and Yoo-Hoo. But by night, your focus shifts from sippy cup to Stanley Cup, and your killer shoot-out moves secure playoff berths."

Singer: "Parlez-vous playoffs?!"

Narrator: "You only look like a cupcake on skates. Because if you’re roughed up by opponents, you don’t fold up like fondant. You give them one heck of a knuckle sandwich."

Singer: "With buttercream frosting!"

Narrator: "You wear that shiny crucifix because you know you’re destined to get your cheeks pinched by grandmas who go to church on Sunday… and Monday… and Tuesday…"

Singer: "Holy Day of Obligation!"

Narrator: "So we salute you, Mr. Totally Angelic Bad-Ass, because you’re a chameleon on and off the ice. You’ll be carded until you’re 78, but that’s okay, because who doesn’t love to see a first grader score on the power play?"

Singer: "Mr.TotallyAngelicBadAss!"


kmart said...

This could also work for Briere.

Jess said...

It's a totally angelic bad-ass kinda year at the All-Star Game, apparently!