Monday, June 6, 2011

Bromancing the stone

I'm starting to get better at this whole signing thing. Sure, I'm still an awkward mess 90% of the time but TODAY! Today marked a real breakthrough. I decided, on a day's notice, to go meet Lappy at my local card store. (Oh yes, and I am now the mayor of this fine establishment. What up, gangstaaa?)

How can you say no to Lappy? I mean, he just seems like such a great guy, such a team player, someone with such heart, and someone who shouldn't be plagued by lingering concussion symptoms. But alas, that's life in NHL. (And also why I couldn't make it in the NHL. That, and the line changes. Damn you, tiny legs!) You might recall that this is my third signing this year (cough Shady and Giroux cough), and this time around, I was completely calm. AND I WILLINGLY TOOK A PICTURE WITH THE MAN. Whaaaaaat?!?!

But I'm getting ahead of myself.

Pops (my wingman) and I strolled up to Lappy, and I was completely dumbfounded when the man sitting beside Lappy (his bodyguard?) whipped out an eraser and started ERASING MY CARD! In all my awkward meet-and-greet days, I've never seen such a practice! And this was a pretty snazzy Black Diamond card too! I guess Lappy could read the look of horror on my face...

IL: "Oh yeah, this guy's a pro. That's how you do it." (Johnny Erasers proceeds to toss the proverbial bouquet amid his overzealous erasing.) "Um, that's NOT what you do."

Me: *nervous laughter* (In retrospect, though, this practice makes total sense, since Black Diamond cards are really, really ridiculously glossy.)

IL (handing back the signed card and standing up): "Here you go! Picture?"

Me: "Um, okay!" (Sidenote: Who is this girl?!)

(Pops takes the picture)

Me: "Thank you so much! We miss you! How are you feeling?"

IL (still standing beside me, chatting it up as if we're old chums): "I'm okay. Still having trouble with my eye."

Me: "That's such a shame. Hope you're feeling better soon!"

IL: "Yeah, I'm working on it. One day at a time!"

Me: "Okay, well, good luck! Have a good summer!"

Now, let's review: that was a shocking articulate performance by yours truly, no? Well then, Pops stepped up to the plate... and neither of us are really sure what he was attempting to splutter:

Pops: "You're just... you're so good to the team... even without really being on the team... they really miss you..."

Basically, Pops was rendered as speechless by Lappy as these men were by the Stanley Cup: "It's... um... ahhhh...." *teary headshake and sigh*

Oh Lappy. What a man, what a man, what a man, what a mighty good man (yes, he is!)!


paulina said...

You kill me, Jess. I was tearing up while trying to stifle my laughter, since I'm reading this in public and trying not to look like more of a nut job than usual ... That being said, I'm hanging in the same coffee shop where I left my wallet yesterday, so I'm sure they already think I'm an idiot!

I'm so glad you're making progress in leaps and bounds to show the world that you're more than a SLIGHTLY saucy ginger. You go, Miss Sassy!!

Jess said...

Thank you Pawina!!! This comment made my day :D I don't know if I will ever be more than just slightly saucy, but this post does show a bit of progress!